After school surprise

While Wyeth and I waited for Mom and Dad to get home after school, we often crafted little treats that we called "surprises". We weren't allowed to use the stove, so we had to get a little creative with the microwave. We'd nuke things like marshmallows with melted chocolate chips on top and present them to our parents like a cat with a dead bird. It was bad.

One time we simply wanted to make Jell-O. I was nine years old and Wyeth was five. We followed the directions on the box. The amount of Jell-O the box would have made was enough for a huge gelatinous bowl. Then we discovered we needed the stove to create the wiggly. Just a minor detail. No matter, we thought. It would be even better to have Jell-O in juice form. Mom and Dad were going to love it. Instantly we realized it was so good that Mom and Dad could have the next batch. It was like red crack. Delicious, delicious red sugar liquid. So we chugged it all in probably 10 minutes and ran outside to play on the playground. Mom arrived shortly afterward and we jumped off the swings to greet her. And then I projectile vomited a red hose of Jell-O juice. Wyeth didn't get much farther before he shot an arc of syrupy red glory onto the grass.