San Francisco’s grey in December
Filled with lights and hills.
The wind cuts her fingers as she tightens her backpack straps
The night taunts knowing she has no one
A ball drops while she rides the midnight bus:
It's 2005.
A man offers a paper bagged bottle
She writes on scraps of napkin
Lost in headphones
Unnoticed on the sidewalk.
She walks fast; faster in the dark
Walking under streetlights, running under none
She pauses on a bridge
Watches water rush away.
Knees knock against skinny jeans
Pink tights line legs inside tall boots
Hood up, cheekbones high
She leans against the rail.
A boy films her walking toward him
She smiles shyly and puts a hand in her pocket
He asks if he can kiss her
He says she is the most beautiful girl in America.
Sheesh! Truly I'm not sure if I've ever met a person who throws out the baby with the bathwater more often. Obviously this subject is a struggle. It is for me, too, and you know this. But don't go down the terrible path of throwing it away. Maybe, just once, you should finish something just to prove to yourself that you can. Prove it!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry if this seems harsh, and you seem as unstable as I've ever seen in writing right now, but you need to know that you CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! And not just because this is true of life in general, but because you are an intelligent person who cares about others. Those two traits will get you far in life.
You should change the name of your blog. It's not true.
And thanks for indirectly making me regain determination to finish and publish that story. I didn't realize just how much you needed it!
My overall advice: accept failure when it occurs, even (and especially) when it's something insignificant. You apparently need practice at this. It's not all or nothing. If you don't understand something, swallow your pride and take a step back. Figure out if it's important to you, and if so you will remember it next time. Mistakes are the greatest teacher there is. And if you don't need to know it, you're already done! Easy stuff!